So this is how writers with young children get their writing done. I was up from 2-4 am with the baby boy. He wore me down like a crashing wave wears down a mountain. Slowly. Relentlessly. Fitting imagery, too, since his sound machine is set to "crashing waves" and I've spent the last 2 hours…
I must remember this. this connection to you, sweet baby this meeting of needs this providing for this soft suckling this sacred gaze I must remember it This season is closing, changing, you grow, independent of me and I of you the finality this end, I know, is not the end, but an end Goodbye…
"Who told you only the soft could be good mothers? That mothers could not be dragons in disguise?" -- Nikita Gill I began writing this series on motherhood hoping to confront the resentment I feel toward being a mom. Why is there an underlying skepticism about the value of motherhood? Why does it sometimes feel like…
I'm good at picking boogers now. I'm good at wiping butts. I'm good at "fly-me-higher" now. I'm good at kissing cuts. I'm pretty good at bedtime songs. I draw an extra bubbly bath. I hope I'm good at guiding you as you traverse your path. I'm good at reading books, I recite them all by…
It's been one of those mornings. The ones where I muster all my strength to stop myself from screaming at my kids. The baby mashes his face against my breast, desperate to nurse, but then won't stay latched for more than 15 seconds. The toddler disagrees loudly with any and every suggestion. No, not those shoes! No, not wear this shirt! Evelyn want to brush hair! No brush hair! It's been one of those mornings.
“Being a mother is learning about strengths you didn’t know you had, and dealing with fears you didn’t know existed.” -Linda Wooten I was afraid. When I brought my daughter home from the birth center, I was terrified. Not overtly. Not openly. Not wide-eyed and pale skinned. But beneath all the joy, excitement, fatigue and…
I have one child sleeping and another off with her father getting some groceries. The house is quiet. Which, as any parent knows, is rare. I don't know that I really understood 'quiet' before I had children. Frankly, now that I have them, I'm not sure I understand how to handle 'quiet'. Nonetheless, I find…
I am grateful for the dark room and the comfortable bed. For the man who quietly enters trying hard not to wake me. For the tiny blond girl following behind him like a little duck. I am grateful for the tender conversation I overhear between them in the bathroom while the man gets ready for…
The fourth trimester. The first 12 weeks with baby. I always assumed pregnancy and labor were the hardest parts of becoming a mother. Turns out, no. The breastfeeding, the hormones, the sleep deprivation, the anxiety; the sheer physicality of those first 3 months with a newborn is more intense than 9 months of pregnancy. I…
When people ask me how long I was in labor, I like to tell them 4 weeks. - me It was 8 o'clock on June 14th, 2016. Sprawled on the couch was a very pregnant, very tired, very frustrated woman. She was 39 weeks pregnant. A tearful phone call to her husband earlier in the…
Woman. Black. Queer. Unapologetic.
Lifes experiences in lesser words
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Leap Out of the Deep and Sing
