Sweet tears

“I’ve been sleepwalking
Been wandering all night
Tryna take what’s lost and broke
And make it right”
-From Burning House by Cam

This song snuck back into my life last night. In my raw softening sadness it brought tears. I keep replaying it because I need these tears. But I want to say, the sorrow doesn’t feel wrong. And it certainly doesn’t need fixing. I am in this place and it is ok. I am ok. There is a sweetness here, in this fire, that I believe is exactly as it should be. It is a tender aching space full of regret and joy and memory that honors my sister.

“I’ve been sleepwalking
Too close to the fire
But it’s the only the place that I can hold you tight…”

There is another song on the album Untamed by Cam that I also have on repeat right now. It’s called Village and I will leave you with the chorus.  I don’t have more to offer right now.  

“Your whole heart’s a village
Everyone you love has built it
And I’ve been working there myself
And that’s where I’ll be
With a front row seat
To watch you live your life well”

Thank you for being here. You are not alone. We are not alone. Ever.